Worst Tournament Ever

I got a bit of a late start in the karate competition game.  My first competition wasn’t until I was 18 years old and a 2nd degree black belt.  It was another year and half and 3rd degree on my black belt before I ever won anything.  However, once I started having some success, I wanted more.  Looking back, this comes as no surprise as I am a competitive person by nature. My competitiveness led me to many tournaments and eventually I attended the worst tournament ever.

From 1999-2004 I participated in around 35 competitions, most of which were located in the metro Detroit area where I lived.  While I was certainly not the guy to beat, it was rare if I didn’t place in the top 3 in every tournament.  I did win a few grand championships during that 5-year span but that was not the norm.

Karate Kid tournament was better than the one I attended
Karate Kid tournament was better than the one I attended

I was fortunate to live in metro Detroit growing up since there were so many Korean martial arts studios and organizations around, specifically Tang Soo Do, which I trained in.  Even though there were different styles, studios, and organizations, many of the tournaments I attended consisted of the same core group.  Over the years, I got to know many of them well and enjoyed going to their competitions and partaking in competitive karate despite our differences.

Need help getting started in Karate?

If you have ever wanted to start martial arts but have no clue where to get started, then you need our FREE guide and video.

Sorry Seattle, Detroit has better tournaments

In the spring of 2004 I moved to Seattle, WA to start a new career.  Being in my early 20s, I still have the karate competition bug and wanted to continue competing.  Compared to metro Detroit, Seattle and the state of Washington is much less densely populated.  There is also a much more diverse assortment of martial arts in Seattle compared to the Korean martial arts dominant Detroit area.  For those reasons, and others I’m sure, karate tournaments were few and far between.  In Detroit, I could easily find 1-2 tournaments a month located within an hour from where I lived.  However in Seattle, there were 2-3 a year and I needed to drive up to 3 hours for them.

In the late summer of 2004, I found a tournament a couple of hours from Seattle and decided to attend.  This was my first tournament since moving out west.  I still did not know many people and made the trip by myself. What I am about to tell you may sound ridiculous, but I guarantee that they happened.

The tournament started with a judges meeting.  Ok, good start.  I decided not to judge because I was new to this crew and wanted to watch and observe how they do things before putting myself in a potentially awkward situation of judging without being experienced.  Back in Detroit I would always judge as I feel it is a responsibility of all qualified black belts in order to run a smooth and fair competition.

After the meeting, the tournament began.  It was an average size tournament, around 150-200 competitors. The host brought everyone out on the floor and had some things to say as well as some presentations.  The first presentation was a middle-aged man being presented his 1st degree black belt.  He was wearing a black v neck, short sleeve uniform with purple trim.  It was an open tournament, so I let that one slide.  

Hazing a new black belt

However, after he was awarded the rank, something happened I would not let slide.  After receiving the belt, the host called all black belts on to the floor.  He instructed us to make two lines facing each other, essentially making a gauntlet.  There were 30-40 of us out there.  Several kids were among us.  The host told his new black belt to walk through the gauntlet with his hands behind his back and every black belt could punch him in the body as he walked by.  

Getting odd rank was only one part of the worst tournament ever
Getting odd rank was only one part of the worst tournament ever

After hearing this, I respectfully bowed, backed away from the group, and took a seat in the stands.  I did not want anything to do with this hazing ritual.  I was disgusted and almost left completely.  However, I drove a long way and paid a lot to be there, so I decided to stick it out.  The new black belt walked through the line getting pummeled as everyone smiled and laughed.  When he got to the end, his instructor made a big theatrical wind up and gave him a palm heel to the stomach, knocking him backwards to the ground.

12th Dan Promotion

Now that the hazing spectacle was over, I thought it would be time to start the competition.  Not quite yet.  One more presentation.  The host called up another middle-aged man, no older than 50.  This man was also grossly overweight.  Well over 300 lbs., not of muscle.  The host proceeded to present him with a promotion…to 12th dan.  Never heard of a 12th dan?  Me neither.  I thought maybe it was a Seattle Seahawks 12th man parody, but no, it was real.  The best part?  The belt he was awarded was a black belt with a sparkled gold stripe through the center.

Ever heard of a 12th dan?
Ever heard of a 12th dan?

Celebrate your black belt with a smoke

With the cluster bleep presentations over, the tournament started.  Like many tournaments, black belt divisions happen at the end.  So, I had plenty of time to kill.  There was a food truck in the parking lot, so I thought I’d see if there was anything good to tide me over.  As I walk out the door, who do I see?  The gentleman who received his 1st degree black belt was standing only a few feet from the front door, wearing his new black belt with his v-neck purple trimmed uniform, smoking a cigarette.  It just keeps getting better.

I am now in this for the long haul.  I am determined to see how this day will continue to unfold.  The kids and under black belt divisions seem to unfold uneventfully, at least as I remember.  Now the black belt divisions are set to begin.  I decided to compete in forms and sparring.  There were about 6-8 participants in each division. To my surprise, I got 1st place in forms.  I then needed to compete against the senior (35 years old and older) 1st place winner for the grand championship.  This gentleman was sporting an American flag, stars and stripes uniform.  I don’t think his style was Rex Kwon Do, but I could be wrong.  He seemed to know all the judges as he was talking and joking with them before the competition.

Rex from Napoleon Dynamite was the only thing missing from the worst tournament ever
Rex from Napoleon Dynamite was the only thing missing from the worst tournament ever

I lost to Capt. America

Captain America won.  I guess my traditional black trimmed, white uniform did not have enough flare to win.  At least with sparring, I wouldn’t need any gimmicks to win.  Or at least that is what I thought.

Capt. America took me out of the worst tournament ever
Capt. America took me out of the worst tournament ever

I managed to win my first 2 fights and get to the finals.  Then for my next fight, I lined up across from my opponent who then removes his helmet and mouthguard and tosses them aside.  I thought something was wrong, so I relaxed from the fighting stance I was in.  The center judge, who was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, looks at me and says, “it’s ok, he doesn’t need to wear them because he is my student.”  All the judges then chuckle.  I couldn’t tell you how the match exactly went other than I lost, getting 2nd place.  I know I didn’t get my butt kicked and I seem to remember it being at least competitive.  It was a blur as I was just so dumbfounded.

Now that I write this all out, I can see how you may question the authenticity of this story.  I even had to second guess myself, wondering if it was all a dream or a scene from a movie that I mistook for actually happening.  But no, I assure you this actually happened.

I will say that this was an isolated tournament.  I went to other tournaments in the Seattle area since and did not encounter anything remotely close to the farce I encountered in this story.  Some of those tournaments were good, some were bad, but none of them were this bad.  Hence the title, “Worst Tournament Ever”.

Similar Posts


  1. I did Tang Soo Do tournaments growing up in New Jersey. Like your native Detroit, New Jersey had a lot of Korean martial arts, and I think mostly it was Tang Soo Do and Tae Kwon Do schools competing. I never saw the spectacle you saw but after awhile, I got tired of the tournament circuit, as the same handful of guys won all the tournaments. So while I enjoyed the experience for a time, I guess I was not good enough to win in an era when they only gave out a handful of trophies, rather than what it is today, which is basically everyone gets a trophy.

    I should not say it, but one of the good things IMO about this pandemic year was, no tournaments. Don’t get me wrong. I think it is a good thing for the youngsters to do, but as a middle aged guy, I don’t really need to prove anything to myself or anybody else, and I really have no use for a bunch of cheap, plastic trophies. Maybe now that I am 1st Dan, and an adult, my instructor will let me just help out with setting up, judging the lower belts, and holding for board breaks.

    1. Thanks for the comments! I have a love/hate relationship with competitions these days. A good tournament can have a positive impact on a student while a poor one can have a negative impact.

      1. Come to think of it, I do remember a tournament back in the day my former teacher, Grandmaster Yi was hosting. As he was explaining the sparring rules to the participants, an adult black belt from another school challenged him on the rules of the tournament. If I recall, it was something about not spinning backfists to the face, no low kicks, and no leg sweeps. The black belt from the other school said his school did all those things at their tournaments and asked why it wasn’t allowed in this tournament. Grandmaster Yi stared down the guy and told him if he wanted a full contact, no rules fight, he would oblige. The other black belt (wisely) backed down.

Leave a Reply